October 2012

 October was the month that became so unbelievably hard.  

*Warning: this post has LOTS of journeling in it.  I need to write this whole experience down. Many family members who read this, may not know a lot of what I'm going to write. It was very hard for me to voice my feelings during this 5 month trial. So therefore, I am writing it now that its over.  Please know that these things I am writing are very personal and sacred to me and I ask that if you continue to read, you give it the respect that is due.*

After Dan lost his job in August, he found a job that was a "work-from-home" position with a local state health care company, but was based out of Grand Junction.  After doing a couple phone interviews, they decided to fly him out on a little jet from the airport by our house to do an in-person interview.  He was SOOO excited.  He was given a rental car, taken to breakfast and lunch and had several interviews.  He even got some time before his flight back to go see the Colorado National Monument (aka: a mini Grand Canyon).  During the interview, he found out that 1) the job was focusing on fraud AND auditing! (His dream field of work ever since he took his fraud class in college) and 2) the position was NOT a work from home job and we would need to relocate to Grand Junction.  WOW... 

So Dan was offered the position the end of Sept, but before he accepted, we made a little trip out to Grand Junction, just him and me.  I wanted to see the town before we made any decisions.  Afterall, I had only seen the 1 street we had always pulled off on to get gas on our way through to Utah.  (Grand Junction is 4 hours from Denver and 4 hours from Provo... FYI) It reminded me a LOT of St. George. It quite caught me off guard to how much I really liked it, because to be honest, I was opposed to moving 110%. We saw a couple houses, drove around a bit.  Dan got his final offer while we were eating lunch before we got back on the road.  I remember hearing the offer and thinking "NOPE! That isn't worth relocating our whole lives and family for!  It's over. This is done." I even wrote a list of pro's vs. cons on a pad of paper in Jimmy Johns.  There were more cons, than pros on that list.  I still have that list I wrote. It reminds me to rely on Him and not me.

On our way home, we decided we should go to the temple the next morning to seek confirmation about moving forward with this job.  The cons DEFINITELY outweighed the Pro's, but we still had a feeling that it was right. We couldn't explain why, but it just did. My recommend had expired recently and so I called my bishop and stake president and explained our situation.  I met with a counselor and then the stake pres at their homes that evening. They were more than helpful and kind.  The experience I had with President Carpenter was amazing. I will never forget the amazing spirit that came over him and it made me feel like I was actually talking to Him. He gave me profound counsel to cling to my husband, grow together, check in on our daily activities every night and keep the routine as close to normal as possible for the kids.  He told me that this was Satan's "in" to our family that he was looking for.  I did NOT want him to get "in". I had recently had the realization that only when Adam and Eve were apart in the garden that was when Satan was able to tempt them.  He was not going to tempt us. We had gotten in a great habit of  family scriptures and family prayers every night and we were going to continue that over FaceTime. And we did, every night I wasn't at my parents... we did scriptures and prayers as a family. I had also explained to President that my family was very hesitant and doubtful this move was right for us.  They were very literal, as I was, in the pro's vs con's.  I remember President looking at me and telling me that I would be an example to {them} for relying on our confirmation and relying on the Lord and this would help them in the long run. I had to cling to that sentence the next 5+ months because we were still got questions up until the week before we moved.  Now, I won't lie and say I was 100% on the move overnight, nor was I that month, not by a LONG shot. But more on that later. The feeling I had when I left from that interview, was nothing short of amazing.  I cried the whole way home. 

The next morning in the temple, Dan and I looked across at each other and we both knew it was right. I knew we were moving. It was just a matter now of when would be best.  I was 7 months pregnant with our 3rd.  It hadn't been the easiest of my pregnancies and I LOVED my doctor. So after another trip to Grand Junction WITH the kids, and looking at several homes that were "ok", but not for us, and visiting the hospital, we decided that Dan would commute until I had baby.  He found a room to rent from a divorced man during the week and would come home on Fri nights and go back Sunday nights.  Thus began my solo parent act 5 days/week. 

I remember the first night he left.  We were at my Aunt and Uncles home for dinner and he left straight from there.  My family was all there and offered for me to stay longer, but I needed to go home.  I needed to cry alone. If anyone really knows me, they KNOW I HATE crying and ESPECIALLY in front of others. I went home and put the kids to bed.  I crawled in my bed and looked at his empty side and cried myself to sleep after reading my scriptures. There was one scripture I read that night though, that I know was meant for me. "And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith." Enos 1:12. At the time, I took it that Dan would find something else in Denver and I wouldn't have to move. That wasn't the case at all.  It fits even better now after our move. It was because of our faith, that we were so blessed to have things work out here.

Every Sunday night before Dan left, he would give me and the kids a blessing. Boy did that blessing fill me with Divine power.  I know I was given extra energy, strength and support to sustain me for those 5 months.  It was nothing but Divine Intervention.  I was told I was one of His strongest daughters and this trial was being given to me as point to measure other trials in my life up to.  I was also given the trial, so that I may know how strong I am and what I am capable of.  I never learned so much about myself so fast, as I did in those months.

Now there is so much more to this story... but this is just the beginning.  What happened in October (and maybe a bit more). As I continue to update on following months, I will add to what happened.

{These are pictures from when we took our trip with the kids to Grand Junction. They loved it! They loved the hotel! Getting their own "tv" in their "room" and being able to jump on the beds and SHARE a bed! Dan told Brooke that we were staying at "Trump Towers", even though it was just a Residence Inn!}

THE REST OF OCTOBER: 

 {Brooke making her snack for preschool.  They were doing the letter "e", so we did sugar cookies with "e's" on them.  Brooke also loves to do her "homework"...aka: coloring and cutting paper}

 {I walked into Tanner's room one night and that was how I found him... half off the bed...  Then the other picture was Tanner WIDE AWAKE at my parents house after FLIPPING the "cage" off of him!}

 {The BEST PJ's for a prego! One piece fleece! Nothing tight on the belly and warm!}

 {my little"thumbs up" nerd!}

 {One day while working in my office, I told Brooke to pick out what she wanted for lunch... I was just happy to see yogurt and grapes in that assortment!}

 {Brooke is my little mother/helper.  This was her doing the dishes without being asked! She can totally empty the dishwasher and load it all by herself! YAY FOR DISHES HELP!}

 {As part of my "nightly ritual" while Dan was gone, I crafted... A LOT! Here were some of the things I made!}

 {Enjoying a nice fall day at Grandma Na-May and Grandpa Brook's!}

 {Now its not big shocker that Im a Republican and I was a HUGE (STILL AM) supporter of Romney... I went to SEVERAL of his rallies during the election. They were SO fun!  This one was at Red Rocks. People were there for hours in line, and they had to end up turning people away, but since I was 8 mon prego and my Grandma had a handicap sticker, we got to go STRAIGHT to the front of the line! We were like 15 rows back from the stage!}

 {Mom says I'm a "doer"}

 {I still love me some Romney/Ryan...2016 baby! haha...right?}

 {During the 5 months, Brooke knew I didn't have a "partner" to sleep with... so she gracefully came and slept with me about 70% of the time Dan was gone.  She's too sweet... Oh, PS, its a REALLY hard habit to break!}

 {I still managed to have LOTS of fun in October though! My mom and I went to a Halloween lunch with my aunt and cousin... AND Dan and I STILL had our 8th annual CRAZY spaghetti dinner!}

 {The kids would soak up every MINUTE of Dan being home... it was constant playtime and storytime at our house on the weekends!}

 {Tanner just being goofy wearing Aunt Haley's ugg boots and Brooke "PLOUTING" as Uncle Na-Na says... (pouting and planking!)}

 {Making brownies! Licking the bowl is the BEST part!}

Halloween:

 {my costume... I was the "easy button" on my belly! SOOO funny! Tanner LOVED "pushing my buttons"}

 {Brooke and Miss Rhonda and the ALL GIRL preschool class!}

 {HAPPY HALLOWEEN!}

 {the kids got glow sticks from Grandma GG... Brooke fell asleep with hers.. It was so funny.}

 

{Uncle Collin was a good sport and took Brooke out longer than Mommy could do... stupid pregnancy feet.  Grandma also pitched in when it came to a JUMPING SPIDER at a DECKED out SCARY house! SOOO FUNNY!}

Pumpkin Patch Festival: 

 {little did I know we would become quite the country folk when we moved and my kids would get to see a LOT more of this!} :)

 {Hunting for the right pumpkin... I'm pretty sure my belly was bigger than the pumpkin!}

 {On the way back to the car, Tanner fell asleep.  He is so funny and will about fall asleep ANYWHERE! It was so cold and wet, but he just didn't care!  My cute boy!}

...and that was our October! Jealous? ;)